I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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