first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize