Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
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for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
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not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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