You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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