I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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