I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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