I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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