I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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