There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize