Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
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This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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