I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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