glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I puked a lego.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
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he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
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I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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