Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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