I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
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Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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