i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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