In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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