We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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