We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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