i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize