Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize