my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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