i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize