dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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