What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize