I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
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I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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