I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize