I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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