Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize