He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize