I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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