Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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