don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize