if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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