Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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