Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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