He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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