A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize