im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Oh god it's open bar.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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