Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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