i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
there was a trapeze. enough said
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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