So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Randomize