Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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