some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
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I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
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I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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