Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I wish I only lived at night.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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