Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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