I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
that may or may not have been my penis.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize