I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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