What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We got so high we made milksteak
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize