Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
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he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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