I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize